Sunday, October 24, 2004

 

Age is just a number

Steve's sack of fix it's is bulging today

Debbie seems to want more fixes than problems - in her email she writes ...

Dear Steve,
Please would you fix it for me for Steve'll fx it not to lie about my age. I am 26 - everyone knows that.
Thanks,
Debbie


Well Debbie, asking around the Fix It office, no one appears to know your age, in fact some of the lovely female assistants were suggesting I was being kind putting 45 down. You will recieved a limited edition "Steve Fixed it for me badge" with 45 candles on it.

 

3 points to the good.

Steve has been checking the Fix it mail bag today, and recieved our first official porn-free request;


Dear Steve,
Please could you fix it so that my neighbour does not gloat too much about the rubbish team which he supports (some Newcastle gimps) beating the excellent Manchester City who I support. I would be very grateful, especially as they did it mainly by cheating.
Thanks,
Debbie (age 45)


Well Debbie, I cant promise the world .. after all, mathematically, NUFC are better than MCFC - just look at the league table for evidence. Its the right of every fan to gloat to their neighbours if their team wins. Incidently, were you listening to the same game as Steve, as it appeared that the Man City players were the thugs. You will be recieving a special edition "Steve Fixed It For Me Badge" - black and white.

Saturday, October 23, 2004

 

Dont know if its a fix it or not

Recieved an email - not sure if its spam, or from someone desperate to be fixit'd - the email is from aaaaaaaic@netscape.com (vaughn)

LOOKING FOR A NEW BITCH TO F*CK {{{ MEET A NEW SEX PARTNER }}}http://rds.yahoo.com/*http://hotWEBCAM.IACCESSS.TO SEX I will take my bra off for you I will take my bra off for you.

Well vaughn, thanks for your email, first of all, I will be switching on my spam protection, secondly, no need to take your bra off, as we're sending you a "Steve Fixed it for me Chastity Belt". Young lady (or man - if you;re into that kind of stuff) - Its getting a little late in the year for taking your bra off anyhow, you should be adding many layers of clothing to keep your temp up. You'll get a cold

Tar Tar

Steve

 

Steve'll Fix It for You*

A new blog, for requests. Like Jimmy did in the 80s (not touching young kids up) - email in with your requests and we'll see what we can do.

Tar Tar

*Warning - any fix's over 5p might not be do-able

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